Questions to Ask When Looking for a New Director

I am in a season of transition, and as part of that transition, I am looking for a new spiritual director. This is the third time in fifteen years that I have been on the journey to find the right director for the season - staying with each long-term (the first for 10 years and the second for 5 years). 


But as I began this search, I was brought back to my first search, which was difficult and took a lot of trial and error. One director wouldn't work because of my duel location - spending my weeks between two states and three towns. This was before Zoom was normative, and we couldn't get our schedules to jive. The second director only wanted to ask me about my prayer life, so I didn't feel like I could bring my whole self in direction. But when I found my third director, she was the perfect fit for me. A mixture of contemplation and sacred conversation, she asked me questions that challenged me and helped me to grow in my faith, and we sat together each month until her retirement. 


Following that retirement, I didn't have to search for my next director much. She was in my heart; one conversation made us realize we would be a good fit. This director weaves together all of the scraps and strands of sacred conversation I bring each month and helps me see something new—new possibilities and new invitations. 


This round of seeking a new director has been a bit more complicated, as no one person has risen to mind. Instead, I have been gifted with five names of outstanding individuals, wholly different with unique gifts and graces. 


What also makes this time different is that I know what questions to ask for the sake of the direction relationship. After serving as a spiritual director for more than fifteen years and understanding my journey and experience, there are specific questions I need to ask. 

1.) What is your approach to spiritual direction? Do you hold space for the directee to bring their whole self, or do you limit the conversation to prayer and other spiritual disciplines?
Tracing back to my first experience of looking for a spiritual director, this question is essential because it speaks to the director's understanding of what we are doing together in the sacred container of direction. 

2.) Each director takes a different approach to direction. I consider myself someone who needs a director who is dialogical. Are you comfortable with this?
Some directors believe they must stay silent for most of a session, which doesn't work for me. I spend most of my day in the silence of my thoughts and prayers, so I need to engage in holy conversation when I come to a direction. 

3.) What is your approach to supervision?
​I want to make sure that my director is engaging in supervision—either one-on-one, in facilitated groups, or in peer groups—because this shows what value they place personally on their ministry. 

A question that I have added, simply because the spiritual direction community is small and after fifteen years, I know a lot of people, is:
4.) What is your comfort level with dual relationships?
I also name my relationship with each director for clarity's sake. I want us to name any barriers up front and how we will navigate them. 

Lastly, 
5.) When do you usually see directees?
There are some people we connect with really well, but our schedules don't jive. I would name that up front instead of trying to guess what will or won't work. 

What questions would you add to this list when seeking a new director?